It took two words for me to feel as if someone had punched a hole in my chest, taken hold of my heart, squeezed the life out of it, ripped it to shreds, thrown it onto the floor and then danced on its bleeding, tattered remains.
His girlfriend.
I know that I am stupid, and pathetic, and deluded, and immature. Someone tonight asked me how someone so intelligent could be so daft. I want to cry. I want to scream, and yell, and break things. I want this pain to be over. I want to die.
And all because I love you.
Call it melodramatic, but that’s the way I feel. I’ve been in love with you for twenty-three years; I’ve been your friend for eight. You are buried so deeply in my heart that I’m not sure I could remove you, even if I wanted to.
We’ve never had a romantic relationship, and we were never likely to, but that doesn’t change the way I feel, and you can’t turn your feelings on and off like a light, emotions don’t come with an off switch.
I wish to God that they did.
I Grieve... 