Life; it is as if I am a block of stone and someone with a hammer and a chisel is slowly chipping away at me; using their hands to form me into something I’m not; something that I have no control over.

I can be quite unforgiving, I know that, and sometimes I hate myself for it.  Most of the time though, I believe that I am quite justified in the way that I behave. If I make an effort towards you and you don’t make any effort back, well don’t be surprised if I cut you… Continue reading Terms and Conditions Apply

The tears flow freely and you watch the blood drip drip drip from the gaping, jagged maw, falling in a congealed pool at your feet, staining your clothes and your carpet. You don’t fit in.  Your face doesn’t fit. You are stupid.  You have no place here.  You are an annoyance, a bug, a festering… Continue reading Drip… Drip… Drip

Do you ever have that feeling, you know, when you’re driving along and you suddenly realize that all it would take was a slight turn of the wheel and everything would be over?  No more responsibility, no more loneliness, no more pain. Do you ever, for seemingly no apparent reason break down in floods of… Continue reading Do You Ever

I don’t know why the TV was on, it wasn’t supposed to be, and it certainly wasn’t supposed to be on anything but MTV. I was bent over the sink, up to my elbows in hot soapy water and coffee cups when I heard the announcement.  My head snapped upwards, the cup in my hand… Continue reading Dead

I keep taking myself away so that I can be alone.  I can’t keep up the happy front 24/7, and I don’t want to break down in front of anyone. I wish I could tell you the way I feel about you, how you have always made me feel, but I know that if I… Continue reading Wishes

It took two words for me to feel as if someone had punched a hole in my chest, taken hold of my heart, squeezed the life out of it, ripped it to shreds, thrown it onto the floor and then danced on its bleeding, tattered remains. His girlfriend. I know that I am stupid, and… Continue reading Two Words

Darkness isn’t something to be afraid of. Darkness is when the truth comes out. Darkness is when you drop the mask Darkness is when you allow your emotions to run wild Darkness is when the voices in your head make themselves heard. Darkness is when you embrace your true self. Darkness is quiet. Darkness is… Continue reading Darkness

I felt better this morning, had almost put the last twenty-four hours out of my mind, then someone sent me an email, asking if I had heard the good news.  Even though they couldn’t see me, I put a smile on my face as I hit reply and typed, “Yes, isn’t it great”, when all… Continue reading How Long

I guess I’ve always felt like an afterthought.  Good enough to be included if I’m the one making the effort, but otherwise completely forgotten. Perhaps I’m too needy.  An emotional vampire who takes and takes until there’s nothing left but a dried out husk. I’m good for the grunt work, remembering birthdays, making others feel… Continue reading Afterthought